a new year

I'm back from my extended holiday break, and I'm actually quite glad. Don't get me wrong - the two weeks off were the refreshing break I needed. But as I unpacked the other night I caught myself saying, "it's good to be home - to feel like I'm in my own comfortable space again." That's scary, though, because Grand Rapids is not home. It can't be home! I need to get out of here fast so my nomadic tendencies don't disappear. I still try to limit all my worldly goods and possessions to what I can fit in a car so I can make a fast get-away (it helps to have a car for that, of course), so I guess my itchy feet haven't quite settled down yet.

I've long wondered about this tendency in me ( "Searching For Home" by M. Craig Barnes discusses it in great detail) and I've concluded it's half defense mechanism and half laziness. I don't want to stay in one place too long because that would mean I might have to actually develop intimacy with people. And worse, if I stay I have to actually face some deeper issues that only come up when you've been in a community for a long time. I'm working on this, but we'll see if it actually sinks in. It didn't for my Dad, and his Dad before him, so I'm not holding my breath.

Anyway, back to my lovely vacation. The week in Seattle made me wonder why I ever left that side of the country, especially the bright sunny days with views of the mountains (in Seattle n January - crazy!). I was spiritually encouraged and refreshed by my time with the Sanctuary crew. My sister and brother-in-law have been involved with this church plant from the beginning and now I understand why they like it so much. My buddy Kent said it better than I can. It's a pleasure to have such smart friends.

I was challenged by a few books I read over the break. The combination of "The Blood of the Lamb" by Peter DeVries and "Under the Banner of Heaven" by John Krackauer was particularly interesting. DeVries writes one of the darkest novels I've ever read, but it's terribly funny (and thus, a terrific read). And Krackauer brings into question the very concept of religious belief, as in why do we believe illogical things? He does this by analyzing Mormon fundamentalists, but the scary thing is they sound a lot like your everyday garden-variety Christian - I mean besides the polygamy thing. Anyway, I've had to remind myself, once again, why exactly I believe this crazy stuff I do. It's a good process to go through on a regular basis.

(P.S. I'm listening to the latest from Caedmon's Call - Share The Well - I think I like it, but I'm not sure yet. I like what they're trying to do, at least.)